Once you get to know him, he's a nice guy

 

Mental Health

Ralph had long since lost count of his otter pop consumption, and the powerful union of icy sugar and food coloring invading his bloodstream left him unable to number the vast expanse of empty plastic shells littering the couch and the floor and his own lap. He had adopted a slouch from which the only escape would be to slowly collapse to the floor. Then he would dream of otter pops, and be convinced as he dreamed that he was eating them still-- but upon awaking, he would find that his mouth was full of carpet fuzz and that in the meantime his blood sugar had taken a nose dive.