The problem with Geraldine was that she was so very volatile. She had, from a very early age, grown accustomed to everyone in her life constantly walking on eggshells, which made it even more difficult for her to handle any other kind of treatment. If Geraldine had been a normal human being, this would not have been too serious; everyone would have remarked her breakdowns in supermarket checkout lines and her fits at children's birthday parties with a mixture of pity and disgust. They would have, except that Geraldine possessed potent, poorly-controlled telekinetic powers. It was rumored that her high-school boyfriend had spontaneously combusted shortly after deciding to attend a different university than her, though his family was too terrified to take the investigation any further and is to this day refusing the requests of paranormal-themed TV shows to document his mysterious demise.
We regret today's absence of a picture, and hope to be back up and running at our wretched full capacity tomorrow. Meanwhile, deal with it.
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