Mental Health
It was when his heart most swelled with the desire to sing that Rudgar would remember that he was an elephant.
Find love at CrustaceanSingles.com
2012-12-31
I will have had my revenge
2012-12-30
Possibly a compliment
Mental Health
The first thing anyone (including the bus driver) noticed about Jerome was that he was so very unremarkable and indeed nearly invisible; this was what had caused the unfortunate accident which ensured that it would also be the last thing anyone noticed about poor Jerome.
2012-12-29
A fair point
Mental Health
The villainous Dr. Vandertramp was in a luxurious changing room at a very upper-class clothing store. He had three tailored suits in with him and a pushy Italian tailor outside the door, and a cold sweat was beginning to form at his greying temples. He had been on both ends of heists, air raids, and unfair fights, and nothing got to him quite like clothes shopping did.
2012-12-28
Your mileage may vary
Mental Health
Norton was a writer, and a very good one, at least in a mechanical sense. He put words together beautifully, and could evoke scenes and feelings in his readers in a way that was unique to him. But Norton had no stories to tell, and he was losing the ability to convince his readers otherwise.
He decided to buy a ski mask and an unregistered gun and do some "research", at the end of which he realized he was a born carjacker and gave up writing altogether to pursue a full-time life of crime.
2012-12-27
All across the universe
Boris and Ashley had spoken aimlessly for a while, but both felt the conversation moving to a more serious mood. At least, both thought so- it was hard to gauge these things over the phone. Finally, Boris got tired of beating around the bush and said what he was thinking: "Do you feel like there's something in the way of our relationship?"
She thought for a moment, but only for effect. "The distance doesn't help," she said. "Or the fact that we're both so busy."
Boris thought. but did not say, Those are exactly the two things standing in the way of my relationship with Joan of Arc, too.
2012-12-26
2012-12-25
2012-12-24
2012-12-23
Joyful, maybe triumphant
It's a Christmas album by Crustacean Singles' musical alter ego (livingstonian) and friends. It isn't totally finished yet- there will be some stragglers all the way up until Christmas, I imagine- but enjoy. And feel free to share it.
2012-12-22
That's not what they say
Tomorrow, I'm going to actually get up and find a pen, because pencil isn't working so great.
Interrogation Tuesday results
2012-12-21
A fragile mental state
Camera-phone quality again. It fits the theme, though.
Also, don't miss your chance to participate in the thoroughly meaningless Interrogation Tuesday this week. Results go up tomorrow.
2012-12-20
2012-12-19
As time wears on
Mental Health
Though feeling that he was getting mixed signals from the highway patrol officer, George decided to throw caution to the wind and leaned in for a kiss.
2012-12-18
Damage assessment
Interrogation Tuesday
Interrogation Tuesday: results (from last week, which I neglected to post until now)
2012-12-17
A compelling point
Mental Health
It was a compelling point, but Sherman waffled. He paced slowly around the room in indecision, a move calculated to irritate the other parties in the negotiation which ultimately took more energy than it was worth.
2012-12-16
2012-12-15
2012-12-14
2012-12-13
Follow those dreams
Mental Health
When he had begun his great journey, he had been nothing but an inexperienced boy with only the clothes on his back, a good heart, and the crumbled granola bar in his pocket. Twenty minutes later, he was sitting glumly at the bus stop, finishing in the last crumbs of his only food, and would soon (though he of course did not know it) leave his jacket on the bench when he got on the bus. At the end of his journey, his mother would be very upset to learn this particular fact– it was a nice jacket, and you can't just go around losing things like that.
2012-12-12
2012-12-11
2012-12-10
2012-12-09
2012-12-08
2012-12-07
But seriously though
Mental Health
Edgar's ears were not especially huge in the traditional sense- they did not occupy a large amount of his face's area or outmatch his other features, except in one regard: they were especially, even improbably, protuberant. For such a pair of what appeared to be normally-sized ears, they had an amazing habit of hitting doorways and passersby as Edgar walked. Birds perched on them from time to time, and when he ran particularly fast, Edgar could feel that they gave him substantial lift.
2012-12-06
2012-12-05
Educational and then some
Sometimes French vocabulary is better with an illustration. Pictured here, the word for flamethrower.
2012-12-04
2012-12-03
2012-12-02
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2012-12-01
Professional and friendly
Mental Health
It wasn't that 3-chin Geribald (an outdated nickname that underestimated him by one chin) didn't want the cake. He coveted it with a rapt devotion as the guards led him down the hall, the warden carrying the cake in the procession before them, Geribald's ankle cuffs chafing his skin and making him waddle. It wasn't that he didn't want it, it was just that he didn't want everyone to see how badly he wanted it.
2012-11-30
2012-11-29
2012-11-28
A losing battle
Mental Health
When Victor became aware of the existence of bacon-flavored cheese puffs, he was already in the throes of bacon obsession. The difference between this particular bacon-infused product and all the others, however, was that this one could not be found. Not in his city, not in nearby communities, and not even anywhere he had thought to look on the internet. It was only a rumor, or a secret, or some elaborate practical joke on him.
It was in this state of frustration that he found himself turning to a less legitimate business, waiting to meet his shady contact in an alley behind a warehouse. He had heard that the guy specialized in pork rinds, but hoped he'd at least have a lead.
2012-11-27
2012-11-26
In the New World
Mental Health
Diego sat staring at the monkey for a solid five minutes, perfectly motionless and waiting to pounce. Unfortunately for him, the monkey had planned it out and, when it stole his food and ran away, it jumped over a pit that Diego hadn't seen, and into which he promptly fell.
2012-11-25
2012-11-24
2012-11-23
2012-11-22
2012-11-21
Should have brought a ladder
Mental Health
Meanwhile, the evil Dr. Vandertramp had been roped into participation in the community bake sale. His thumbtack cookies hadn't done any damage yet, as far as he could tell, and he found this rather upsetting.
2012-11-20
2012-11-19
2012-11-18
Always the optimist
Mental Health
Jerome had no memory of spending his savings on a motorized bathtub on wheels, but as he careened down the road to try to reverse the transaction at the local bank, surrounded in bubbles and rubber ducks, he found himself taking a liking to the vehicle.
2012-11-17
2012-11-16
They're finally starting to be worth the investment
(a re-run, because I was at a battle of the bands in Salt Lake until late (we won, by the way) and am kind of amazed that I'm even conscious right now)
Interrogation Tuesday results are in
[*] Question 1 refers to the drawing posted on Tuesday.
Also, here are the responses in graphic form:
Do you agree with the dad's statement in the above drawing[*]?
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2012-11-15
2012-11-14
Alarmism
Mental Health
They were walking and talking about nothing in particular; things were tense at first, but they both began to open up. Just as things were starting to go well, Jerry fell into an open manhole and landed with a splash some twenty feet below.
