Crustacean Singles: February 2023

2023-02-28

So tired

A bird perches on a stool and delivers standup comedy into a microphone on a stand: "I just flew in from Newark, and boy are my wings tired! / I am very out of shape, folks."

"I try explaining to my agent that I'm non-migratory, but she's an arctic tern..."

2023-02-27

Glaring out

A face is shown in closeup, with the chin outside the bottom of the frame and the forehead obscured by the top caption, which reads, "If the eyes are the windows of the soul, my soul is glaring out & muttering in disapproval." The face's mouth frowns. The eyes each contain a stick figure; the one in the right eye is looking out through binoculars and frowning, while the one in the left eye has lowered its binoculars and is visibly perturbed. In the background behind and to the sides of the main head is a stream of illegible grumbling.

I know what I've seen, and I don't like it one bit.

2023-02-26

Please don't

I just think it would be nice to be on the other end of things for once.

2023-02-25

How

Person 1, cheerfully: How would you like to do something fun? Person 2, despondently: I have tried my best, but I cannot imagine a way.

Haha question words can be ambiguous. Haha depression.

2023-02-24

This is a departure from the typical format, and also much sloppier. My drawing hand and my drawing brain won't cooperate to improve the linework, much less add color. They hope to be back in better form tomorrow.

As for the subject, some explanation is in order: after a reader correctly predicted yesterday's comic a day in advance, I asked whether they knew what I'd post today and if so, whether they'd mind telling me. Their answer: "a clever multi-point deconstruction of the statistical assumptions posed by the Fermi Paradox, all implied allegorically by a pun about farts". Pretty close, huh?

For best results, please imagine a very gaseous nebula revealed in panel 3's zoom out.

Panel 1 of 3: A large telescope on a mountain. A speech bubble comes from inside: "A whole universe out there—" Panel 2 of 3: inside the telescope facility, two astronomers are seen working. One replies to the first panel: "—and so you're saying, what, you'd think we'd've smelt it by now—" and the other, who spoke in the first panel, says, "—if there was someone to have dealt it. Yeah." Panel 3 of 3: back to the exterior shot, but zoomed out. The conversation continues: "Well, perhaps they have some kind of stealth tech. Some kind of 'great filter'." / "Seems more likely that every species just hits a point where it dutch ovens itself to death." END

2023-02-23

Destined to become an all-time holiday classic!

2023-02-22

Now what?

Línjì Yìxuán taught, "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."

This informative pamphlet takes it from there.

Against a background of dramatic stone formations and a pass between them, a hand holds a pamphlet: "So you've killed the Buddha / Now what?". Depicted on the cover below the title is a Bodhi tree with a glowing outline in the shape of the meditating Buddha.

2023-02-21

every raging counts, no matter how tiny and odd

Top caption: "There are lots of ways to rage against the dying of the light." A stick figure with an intense expression holds a plate of waffles high and says, "I made experimental waffles. If you eat some with me, I think that counts too." A little arrow points at the figure's face and says, ""Bring your rage face".

2023-02-20

and I will dwell in a golden hall of silence

Person 1: How come we never talk anymore? Person 2: I'm trying to treat others the way I want to be treated.

2023-02-19

On this island, we take turns

A castaway stick figure holds a large conch shell and shouts, "I have the speaking shell! It's my turn!" A large hermit crab emerges from the shell and says, "Actually, I think it's mine."

2023-02-18

I count

A stick figure holds a mixing bowl and stirs seven times. "Nothing bad will happen to me *because* I don't do things the correct number of times. / The bad things will happen to me anyway. / Might as well let my brain enjoy its prime numbers."

I can make this joke because it is also the truth.

I feel like I should add the caveat that my obsessive-compulsive thing with numbers is currently not significantly interfering with my life...but I'm definitely keeping an eye on it, because I know that won't necessarily always be the case. YMMV.