Crustacean Singles: August 2023

2023-08-31

Bear witness

A six-winged, six-eyed angel with a fearsome regard and sharp teeth flies above a gathered crowd and says, "You guys want to see something cool?" Bottom caption: "The gathered people did, of course, but wisely kept their silence."

2023-08-30

Finally happening

Two balloons with faces look down at a stick figure's head with no body, only a spinal cord, who smiles on the floor. The head says, "I think it's finally happening! I'm turning into a balloon!"

Magic is real! Wishes come true!

(sometimes my hands are uncooperative so I just have to look around at stuff I've already drawn & recycle it & hope an idea comes of it. if you recognize these scribbles from earlier this year, I regret to inform you that you are a CrustaceanSingles superfan)

2023-08-29

Dollar signs

A person walks on a sidewalk holding a bulky sack labeled with a dollar sign in each hand. Another person sits against the wall of a building to the side and calls out, "Hey, Moneybags! Spare a couple bucks?" The one with the sacks smiles and says, "Oh, I don't have any money! These sacks are full of dollar signs. They're clearly labeled as such."

Wish I could help, but...

2023-08-28

I don't care what they say

A stick figure stands close to a quadrupedal creature with a single long conical horn, a gigantic and jagged maw that smiles, and wide deranged eyes. Around the jaws are layers of dark red—natural coloration? blood? lipstick?—and the tip of the horn and claws at the ends of its four legs also suggest more of the same. The stick figure says, "I don't care what they say. I think you're a beautiful unicorn!"

2023-08-27

I can't wait

The Sun says to the Earth, "When I grow up, I am going to burn you to a crisp."

2023-08-26

What kind of day

A person stands hands on hips and looks across greenery and the pale blue sky and asks aloud, "What kind of day is it going to be?" A little red-brown bird perched on the maturing seed head of a sunflower says, "The kind that ends, if you're lucky."

Cool, thanks, Ominous Bird.

2023-08-25

Home is where

A house whose front door looks like a worried mouth calls to a smaller building which is walking on four legs: "Please come home". The walking structure frowns and says "No".

2023-08-24

Free fallin'

An angel is casually upside down with falling motion lines. "I'm a fallin' angel. / Just been plummeting since the beginning of time."

2023-08-23

Just human things

Top caption: "Many thousands of years ago, somewhere on Earth" A stick figure poses with a spear held over their head, smiling, and thinks, "man I bet this looks so cool".

I don't care if it's gauche or whatever. I'm totally going to draw myself like this on the cave wall tonight.

2023-08-22

A journey through the desert

An exhausted person crawls through a desolate landscape of sandy dunes. In the near distance, a prickly pear cactus laden with fruits is growing. The person says, "That cactus has been following me for several blocks / & I am starting to feel nervous".

2023-08-21

How would I know

A confused stick figure holds a large, thick book titled "Punctuation" and thinks, "What is a question mark".

2023-08-20

What was up there

On the left, one person looks up at another, on the right, who is descending a ladder that extends far into the sky with its upper end outside the frame. The first asks, "So what was up there?" The latter (on the ladder lol) says, "I don't want to talk about it." "Was it aliens?" "I JUST said—" and the first interrupts in small text: "did you get probed" END

2023-08-19

Summoning shortcomings

A group of cloaked figures stands around a summoning circle drawn on the floor. The circle is awkwardly shaped and the figure inside it is a thoroughly botched pentagram. Like, not even close. One of the cloaked figures holds a five-candled candelabra. A demon has appeared in the center, in the form of a giant angry bunny. It says, "Alright, which one of you drew this summoning circle? What the hell is that supposed to be?" Another of the cloaked figures subtly points at another to blame them.

Unprofessional is what it is.

2023-08-18

nondeliniation

A figure without outlines, the shape of a person in the color of blank paper, walks through a landscape that turns from low green to weathered red rock formations. "I can see why/ they might focus/ on the downsides// but this is/ the closest I have/ ever been// to feeling free."

2023-08-17

The succession of being

Continued from yesterday's comic, a stick figure stands facing another figure whose lines had transformed into dashes yesterday and which are now quite faded, so that the second figure is now primarily visible as an empty shape without outside lines. The first says, "What are you now?" The second says, "I'm not sure. But now I realize that before now, I wasn't as sure as I thought, either."

P.S. It's extremely OK to not be sure.

2023-08-16

A rough outline

A stick figure looks at a second stick figure whose lines are dashed instead of unbroken. The first points and says, "Your, uh—" The second interrupts, frustrated: "I know what my lines look like today."

I hope they're just getting started. I hope they disappear completely.

2023-08-15

A nebulous opportunity

A cloud with a smiling face has a ladder extending from it down to the ground. A person looks up with one hand on their chin, contemplatively. The cloud says, "Come on. I know you're curious."

2023-08-14

Take your limbs elsewhere

In a doctor's office, a person sits on the examination table. This person has no human limbs but eight octopus-like arms extending from the bottom of their torso. A doctor in a white coat holds a clipboard and says, "This is well outside my training as a podiatrist...I'd feel a lot better if you got a second opinion at the aquarium."

"oh YEAH, doc? well MAYBE your MOM should go to the aquarium!

sorry, that was uncalled for. I'm under a lot of stress"

2023-08-13

Progress is progress

In a therapist's office, the therapist sits pensively with a top-bound spiral notebook. The client has been swallowed by a gigantic snake and has only part of their face peeking out of its mouth. Caption: "I'm proud of you for letting your feelings be heard."

"I look forward to hearing all about your progress at next week's appointment."

2023-08-12

The amazing talking mime

A sign in an urban, paved-over setting reads "See the amazing talking mime!" There's a tip jar in front of the sign. Next to it, a mime moves and gesticulates with a weary, frightened expression while saying, " I live in fear, folks. Fear of the League of Mimes! I dared to speak out and now they want my blood! They'll cut out my tongue if they get their hands on me! But do the authorities care? They think it's all a big joke."

Any change you can spare will help me stay alive and on the run, folks. Anything you got.

2023-08-11

DNR

A skeletal arm emerges from a desolate ground in a misty wasteland. On its wrist is a bracelet reading "Do not reanimate".

2023-08-10

Minor time crimes

A person operates a candlestick-style telephone, holding the separate earpiece to their ear with the stand and mouthpiece resting on the table. A speech bubble emerges from the earpiece: "Ahoy! This is old timey times. We would like our telephone back, please."

2023-08-09

A little bird told me

Frame 1 of 3: A bird on a branch speaks to a person looking up at it: "I know you're discouraged, but it's not time to give up yet." The person says, "Oh...kay" (as in, slowly, "OK"). Frame 2 of 3: The bird abruptly flies away. Frame 3 of 3: The person frowns and says, "Hey! That bird doesn't know me. It probably *is* time to give up."

2023-08-08

Don't start disbelieving

One person, alarmed, reads from a scroll: "By decree of the Emperor, skepticism is punishable by death!" A second person, leaning nonchalantly against a tree, says, "I bet he's bluffing."

2023-08-07

A chance meeting deep in the forest

A person wearing a full-body Sasquatch suit looks nervously up at a real Sasquatch, who is very tall, has its hands on its hips, and looks unamused. The human says, "Oh, these are my pyjamas. Sorry about the confusion. I'm, uh, a huge fan of you guys."

2023-08-06

The illusory self

One person cheerfully explains to another, who has arms folded and doesn't look best pleased, "The emergent phenomenon of consciousness that thinks of itself as 'I' just isn't really into labels."

2023-08-05

Rejoice!

A bizarre angelic being flies across the top of the frame, having six eyes and six arms, two of which are holding a sword and a trumpet respectively and two of which are extended and two of which are clasped. The angel says, "Rejoice! and be glad! for I have canceled all your plans for you!"

2023-08-04

Compatibility

One person crouches down next to another, who is lying on their back with their head emerging from a metal trash can. For a pillow, they have a book titled "How to Not". The first says, "Hey, my other friend is also a mess! You two might get along!" The other replies, "Maybe, but I must warn you: I am a really specific kind of mess."

2023-08-03

Things are different now

Pictured: in an office setting with drop ceilings, one person has stacked one chair onto a table and another chair on top of that chair, topping it all with a couch cushion, and crouches now atop the tower under a gap in the ceiling where one panel has been removed. In one hand, they have a bag labeled "snacks". A second person standing next to the tower holds out two more bags, one also labeled "snacks" and the other "cool rats". The caption is implied to be spoken by the second person: "They didn't have to make nearly so many rules before you showed up."

2023-08-02

Are you OK?

Two people stand looking at a third, whose face has several lipstick marks and whose hands are clasped and smiling face raised wistfully. Caption: "You should see the *other* guy."

2023-08-01

I blame you

"They've been at it for hours."

Two people watch from a curb as two others, wearing helmets, rush towards each other to headbutt. On the left helmet, which is streamlined and kind of goofy looking, the word "form" is printed; on the right helmet, which is more basic, the word "function" is printed. Caption is a line of dialogue from one of the watching figures: "We wouldn't have this problem if you hadn't told them about helmets."