Crustacean Singles: October 2023

2023-10-31

Trust the plan

Three ghosts in a trenchcoat float outside a library. One forms the head and the two others emerge from the sleeves, having shaped themselves into approximate hands with faces. The head says, "...and if anybody asks, we're here for books" but the word "books" is written with five 'O's because they are ghosts and I am a hack.

2023-10-30

Vampire variants

A three by three grid of small frames shows a series of vampire-based pun costumes. From top left to bottom right: the basic vampire, the vampirate, a person with fangs wearing a beret and smoking named Vam-Pierre, a vampire holding a lighter: Vam-pyromaniac, a vampire piñata (vam-piñata) with a blindfolded kid whacking at it with a stick, a vam-pilgrim wearing the ridiculous pilgrim hat, Mr. Vam-Peanut (an anthropomorphic peanut with top hat, monocle, and cane, plus of course the vampire fangs), Vam-Pac Man, and a Vam-pineapple.

Add fangs and make a bad pun. Now you have a whole new costume.

2023-10-29

Are you frightened?

A ghost does its best to perform spookiness for a living person, but the person shrugs and says, "Sorry, but it's still not scary...to me, you'll always be a cute ghost."

2023-10-28

Aaahhhh! It's continuity from yesterday!

The panel is zoomed in from yesterday's billboard partially obscured by a tree. At the bottom of the billboard, non-diegetic text reads, "Continued from yesterday:". A second ghost emerges from the leafy branches of the tree and addresses the ghost looking up at the billboard: "Don't call them. They're just recruiting for a reincarnation pyramid scheme." More non-diegetic text appears at the bottom: "Will there be an exciting conclusion? I guess it's possible, but I do not have a plan."

2023-10-27

Still

A ghost looks up at a billboard that reads, "Still in denial about being a ghost? We can help! Call 1-800 [obscured by a tree].

Nah, I don't do phones.

2023-10-26

Is that the best you've got?

A particularly carelessly drawing in black and white lines of a headstone with the epitaph "I've had worse".

2023-10-25

Aaahhhh

A ghost holds a ghostly guitar and says, "I'm lucky my guitar died at the same time as me." And then adds, "Anyway, this next one's a sad song. It's called 'Ghostbusters'".

2023-10-24

A final review

A grave marker bears the epitaph "I did not care for that at all".

2023-10-23

A ghostly encounter

One kid is finishing a spooky story as two others sit on the ground listening: "...and there was the ghost. Looking. right. at her. One of the others says, "Eh..." The other adds, "More of a ghost anecdote than a ghost story." Meanwhile, in the background, three ghostly shapes are faintly visible, also listening attentively.

2023-10-22

Ominousness

Two ravens are perched near each other. One looks ashamed and says, "Truth is, for all the time I spend trying to look ominous, I've never delivered a single omen." The other accepts this confession in stoic silence.

Please don't tell anyone.

2023-10-21

Former form

A ghost looks down at an open casket where its own former body lies. "So *that's* where that thing ended up."

2023-10-20

Preferred curse

A person sits a a desk in front of a single blank sheet of paper, holding a fancy fountain pen with an eerie glow. The person says, "This cursed pen won't let me work!" The pen says, "You could always use a different pen..." The person replies, "No, I like this excuse."

2023-10-19

Not a great party

A ghost floats at the periphery of their own funeral. Mourners gather around the casket looking sad. The ghost thinks, "This is boring."

I don't want to be here.

2023-10-18

Old Man Jeffords

Two youths stand in the background. One gestures at a man in the foreground. The man has a long, white-and-grey beard, a somewhat dazed expression, and wears an old white bedsheet like a poncho. He says, "boo?" The gesturing youth explains, "That's old man Jeffords. He put on that bedsheet on Halloween night twenty-some years ago, looked in the mirror, & scared himself so bad he thought he'd died & become a ghost on the spot. Acts like one ever since."

He thinks his unfinished business is giving away candy, so it's pretty much a best-case scenario.

2023-10-17

Unlikely being

A balloon with a face, including vampire fangs, thinks, "How did I even happen? Seems implausible at best."

Feels like I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel every day lately, but the demon who gives me my ideas isn't answering my texts.

2023-10-16

Business ghost

A ghost wears a necktie and carries a briefcase. Facial expression is worried and tired. Thought bubble: "I have so much unfinished business."

Poor business ghost. That promotion's never going to come, bud.

2023-10-15

My treasure

A ghost appears in the air at the edge of a dark coniferous forest, speaking to a child. "Hey. You seem cool. I want to show you where my treasure is buried." The child looks excited and asks, "Is it bones?" The ghost replies, "It involves bones..."

2023-10-14

A certain kind of vampire

A fruit bat hangs from a branch, wings folded, and says, "Sure, I'm a vampire. If you count fruit blood."

2023-10-13

Figure out what you do

A ghost with vampire fangs and collar, Frankenstein's Monster-style skull stitches, and a pirate's eyepatch floats in the air. A living person folds their arms and says, "Pick a lane."

2023-10-12

Uncarved

A pumpkin, uncarved, has a thought bubble: "What could be scarier than no face at all?"

It's not because I'm scared of knives. Don't tell everyone I'm scared of knives.

2023-10-11

Not a fun game for everyone

Four kids sit around a spirit board (also known as Ouija board) in a dark room. A ghost next to them looks sadly at the board and says, "I never learned how to read."

2023-10-10

Any day now

In a dark room, something lurks between a door and the wall, gripping the edge of the door from behind it with long, crooked fingers. "This is going to be such a good jump scare / if anyone ever shows up at this abandoned old house".

2023-10-09

One ghost story

A child sits up in bed in a dark room. In the upper corner of the room, a faint ghost in a bowler hat. The child says, "Mr. Ghost? Will you tell me a bedtime story?"The ghost answers, "All I can remember is ghost stories anymore." The kid says, "Works for me." The ghost then says, "Fine, but only one, 'cause I have got unfinished business like you would not believe."

For Remake Monday: a ghost story.

2023-10-08

I've made a monster

A person stands facing a little bunny-like creature in a cage hanging from the ceiling. The creature says, "Phlebbth" with a goofy look on its face. Behind the cage stands an unscrupulous scientist. The first person says, "This is your monster? But it's adorable!" The scientist says, "Yeah, but it puts the toilet paper on underhand." The first person replies, "I'll go get the villagers with pitchforks and torches."

2023-10-07

Not a threat but a promise

A quadrupedal creature, pale green and with an antlered humanoid head and a face with tiny eyes and a small smile, walks through a dark forest. It says, "Litter in my forest and I will litter the forest with you".

2023-10-06

Just so you know

A spider has spun a web inside a window frame. The spider sits at the top. The spider has spun words into the web: "I'd eat you if I could".

2023-10-05

Dark eventualities

The frame is from a first-person perspective of a person lying in bed in a dark room. The bedside table has an empty glass and a phone on it. At the foot of the bed and extending up to the ceiling, a shadowy figure with a distended face crouches, reaching one clawed shadowhand towards the reader. It says, "people who love you are going to watch helplessly as you erode away until there's nothing left of your self" and the person in bed says, "thanks for the heads up".

I think my sleep paralysis demon is depressed too

2023-10-04

Still not ideal

Two grave stones are next to each other. On the left, the epitaph reads, "You should see the other guy". On the right, the epitaph reads, "The other guy (please do not actually exhume)". Overhead and in the background, a crow flies with a human skull in its claws.

2023-10-03

Coulda been worse

Tomb stone with an epitaph reading, "You should see the other guy"

One of the nicest things about spooky season if you compulsively make comics every day is the thematic appropriateness of phoning it in with epitaph jokes. (I might have done this one before. There are almost 4500 of these things and I am just way too tired to check.)

2023-10-02

A costume in poor taste

A person with a candy corn-colored unicorn horn points at said horn happily and says, "I'm a Uni-Candy-Corn! Get it?" Another person, very displeased about the whole idea, says, "If by 'it' you mean the urge to never speak to you again, then yes. I get it."

This is a free costume idea. But if you use it, I do want pictures.

2023-10-01

Every house

A hermit crab sits on a rock and gesticulates with one claw. "Every house I've ever lived in has been haunted. It's not a big deal."