Crustacean Singles: February 2024

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2024-02-29

One bottle left

Panel 1 of 4: A stick figure viewed from the chest up smiles and says, "Juice time." Panel 2 of 4: The same figure crouches before an opened refrigerator, looking and reaching for a the back of a shelf and thinking, "One bottle left at the back. Passed over every time before It is your turn at last." Visible on the door shelf of the fridge are some bottles, one marked with a plus-minus symbol and another with an ampersand, and two jars appearing to contain a forked gherkin and kalamata olives respectively. On the top shelf, a container marked "dubious paste" and a jug labeled "ilk minus". Panel 3 of 4: A closeup: the figure's hand holds a bottle of dark purple juice with a dark purple-grey label reading "The Final Juice". Panel 4 of 4: The view returns to chest up of the figure, who now frowns with a hand pensively rested on their chin and says, "Ehhh...not that thirsty." END

Thanks for joining me on this juiceposting journey. Tomorrow I return to the wilderness, resuming my usual wanderings until I find the next obsession.
BUT—!
Over the last month, I drafted many, many more adventures in juice. I am going to compile them, along with the dailies I've posted & various notes & commentaries, into a small book or zine. I'm going to aim for a digital version on a pay-what-you want basis and see if I can even manage that much. A stretch goal would be to produce a limited run of physical copies to sell or trade.
If you want to help make that happen, here are some things you can do: 1) comment something to the effect of "do it do it DO IT" / 2) deliver a small monetary encouragement at ko-fi.com/CrustaceanSingles / 3) send me any Juice That Makes You Less of A Disaster you may have lying about.
Thanks for reading.

2024-02-28

Merely

Panel 1 of 2: One person stands at a table, pouring juice from a bottle labeled 'juice' into one of two glasses on the table, and asks another person at the opposite side of the table, "Hey, you want some of this juice?" The other looks interested but wary and asks, "I dunno...what does it do to you?" Panel 2 of 2: Same scene. The first replies, "'What does it do to you?' It's just juice. You drink it." The other answers, a little annoyed, "That's all? Why bother?"

If it doesn't show you a world where you don't exist, or make you speak in riddles, or with a little luck turn you into one or more birds, what's even the point?

2024-02-27

Moving on

Panel 1 of 3: a hand holds a bottle. The label reads "Juice that helps you move on". Panel 2 of 3: A stick figure tips the bottle with a blank expression and thinks, "Here goes nothing..." Panel 3 of 3: The figure holds the bottle and stares blankly past it. The space behind them is occupied by a large thought bubble. At the top of the thought bubble, a bird says, "We can't be friends anymore" in hand-lettered text; a memory. Below this, the words, "It happened. It was bad. It is over now and I am not."

Am I ready? Is there such a thing?
(I've made a version with the top of the third panel's thought bubble cleared and transparent for your editing convenience: https://ko-fi.com/i/IW7W8UZI7P. Consider this an invitation.)

2024-02-26

Anger

Panel 1 of 3: a bottle sits on a table. The label reads "Irascible juice". Panel 2 of 3: a stick figure has drunk the contents of the bottle and, with an angry face, thinks, "Ugh! Spicy *and* bitter?" Panel 3 of 3: A second figure asks, "What does 'irascible' mean?" The first replies, "I don't know and I a very angry about it."

2024-02-25

Bottled sky

Depicted is the shape of a glass bottle on a table. Instead of the glass material, label, or contents, the outline of the bottle is like a hole in its own scene, one behind which is seen a landscape painting, more or less realistic according to my abilities. A flat, dark ocean occupies no more than a tenth of the bottle's volume at the bottom, above which is a sky full of fluffy clouds. This is all intended to resemble the style and themes of Magritte's work without copying any one painting and in keeping with the theme of bottles of juice that I've been constraining myself to this month. Oh, and also there's some writing carved into the table: "AL (heart with a '7' in it) SM". It's unrelated to the rest of the image.

DRINK? Y/N
(Turns out I wasn't done with Magritte. I'm never done with Magritte.)

2024-02-24

Forming

Panel 1 of 3: a bottle sits on a table. The label reads "Reconfiguration juice". Panel 2 of 3: a stick figure drinks the contents of the bottle and thinks, "Might be nice..." Panel 3 of 3: The first figure now has a combined head and body in the shape of a melting blob, with both arms and legs emerging from the bottom. A second figure, this one gigantic with a happy monster face and clawed hands says, "Pretty great stuff, huh?"

2024-02-23

Being and Uselessness

Depicted is a glass bottle filled with liquid. The label reads, "Ceci n'est pas du jus." In English, "This is not juice." It is an allusion to René Magritte's "La Trahison des Images" (The Treachery of Images) which depicts a pipe and is sub-titled "Ceci n'est pas une pipe." I even copied the handwriting.

Juice that lazily appropriates an important piece of philosophical art by one of my favorite artists ever, adding essentially nothing to it.
Or maybe it doesn't meet the legal definition of 'juice' because of additives and adulterants. Or something.
.
(Some of you may recall from intermediate French that the partitive article reduces to de/d' after a negation, but negation with être is in fact an exception to the rule. Knowing obscure French grammar and teaching it to fellow undergrads was my actual job for a couple years. Do not take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks.)